A conversation with little coverage that deserves more attention is the contribution of menopause to divorce.
Menopause is a natural phase in a woman's life, marking the end of her reproductive years. While it is a biological process, it can have big emotional and psychological effects, not just on women but on their relationships as well.
For men, well, there is nothing you can do about it; you will be at the receiving end of incomprehensibility but know that it can really go sideways, severely sideways, ending in divorce. It is not that uncommon; a handful of lawyers are now coming forward, admitting that, in their opinion, a number of their clients divorce due to Menopause. It does not stop there; women very seldom get the treatment they need, making, in many cases, a divorce to be certain.
What Is Menopause?
Menopause is defined as the time when a woman’s menstrual periods permanently stop, signaling the end of her ability to conceive naturally. It is a significant life stage that every woman will experience if she lives long enough. Menopause is not an abrupt event but rather a gradual process that unfolds over several years.
When Does Menopause Begin?
Menopause typically begins between the ages of 45 and 55, though it can occur earlier or later. The average age for menopause in the United States is around 51. However, some women may experience menopause as early as their 30s or as late as their 60s.
Before reaching full menopause, women go through a transitional phase known as perimenopause. Perimenopause can start several years before a woman's final menstrual period. During this time, the body gradually produces less estrogen, the hormone responsible for regulating the menstrual cycle. As estrogen levels fluctuate, women may begin to experience the symptoms associated with menopause.
Why Does Menopause Occur?
Menopause occurs because of the natural aging process. As a woman ages, her ovaries gradually produce less estrogen and progesterone, the hormones that regulate menstruation and fertility. Eventually, the ovaries stop releasing eggs, and menstruation ceases altogether. Menopause is a normal part of aging.
What Are the Symptoms of Menopause?
The symptoms of menopause vary widely from one woman to another. Some women may experience mild symptoms, while others may be unmanageable. Common symptoms of menopause include:
Hot Flashes: Sudden feelings of warmth, often accompanied by sweating and a red, flushed face.
Mood Changes: Hormonal fluctuations can lead to mood swings, irritability, anxiety, and depression.
Sleep Problems: Insomnia or difficulty sleeping is common during menopause
Weight Gain
Then there are extreme symptoms such as:
Irritability
Irritability is one of the most common symptoms experienced during menopause. As estrogen levels fluctuate and eventually decrease, this can lead to mood swings and a heightened response to stress. Women will be much more irritable and angry, making their husbands the target.
Aggression
In some cases, irritability can escalate into aggression, increasing the likelihood of angry outbursts or aggressive behavior. Women may feel overwhelmed by emotions that they can’t control, resulting in verbal or emotional aggression.
Physical Attacks
While less common, physical attacks can occur as an extreme manifestation of emotional turmoil. The combination of irritability, frustration, and a sense of losing control can be too much.
When Does Menopause End?
Menopause is considered complete when a woman has gone 12 consecutive months without a menstrual period. At this point, she has reached postmenopause, which lasts for the remainder of her life. While many of the symptoms of menopause, such as hot flashes and mood swings, may decrease or even disappear after menopause, some women may continue to experience certain symptoms for years afterward.
Divorce advice for men: Divorce Due to Menopause
Let’s take a look at this article from Balance. It says
“A survey conducted by The Family Law Menopause Project and Newson Health Research and Education, shows that 7 in 10 women (73%) who responded blame the menopause for the breakdown of their marriage. A further 67% of the 1,000 women taking part worryingly claimed it increased domestic abuse and arguments.”
Divorce due to Menopause is far more than stress in marriage; it can spell out divorce. The physical and emotional changes that women experience during menopause can strain relationships, especially if their partners do not understand what they are going through.
While menopause itself may not be the only direct cause of divorce, it sure contributes to a breakdown in communication, intimacy, and emotional connection between partners. The hormonal changes that occur during menopause can lead to mood swings, irritability, and depression, which can strain relationships. Additionally, the physical symptoms of menopause, such as vaginal dryness and decreased libido, can lead to sexual dissatisfaction, further contributing to marital problems.
Divorce due to Menopause: How Many?
It is difficult to quantify exactly how many divorces are due to menopause, as divorce is usually the result of multiple factors. Studies show that women in their 50s, the typical age range for menopause, have a higher divorce rate than younger women.
For men, there is only one thing you can do. Recognize the symptoms and suggest your wife get support, and know that if she refuses, there is nothing you can do; all you can do is suggest in the best way you know how for her to get the support that she needs. What she does is out of your hands now. All you can do is to be prepared to either stay or divorce. Either way, you must prepare.
As balance continues
“With an estimated 13 million women of menopausal age in this country alone, and one in four of them having severe symptoms, these figures paint a bleak future for the legally recognized union of two people, as 9.5million marriages and relationships in the UK are arguably under threat because of a women’s hormone deficiency, and the correlation between the two not being fully understood or acknowledged.”
In this post, we are focusing solely on menopause and its impact on women and their relationships. Note that menopause is not the only factor that can cause symptoms like irritability, mood swings, and other emotional challenges. Thyroid imbalances, for instance, are another major contributor to similar symptoms and can often be mistaken for or exacerbate menopausal issues. But thyroid imbalances is a topic we'll explore another time.
For now, let’s stick to menopause and how it affects women and marriages.
If you are a man on the receiving end at this stage in life, you need support from other men who know how to create a safe space.
It is incredibly difficult to find men who are genuinely willing to offer support in a safe, non-judgmental space. Many men facing these issues at home find their concerns dismissed, minimized, or even met with jokes or teasing by other men.
Finding men who can listen, offer empathy, and provide a space where feelings are respected and validated without belittling or making light of the situation is rare but essential.
Godspeed and all the best!
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